06 3 / 2014
"When any individual man hollers a comment at you, he’s doing it as part of a culture where women are harmed because they are women. He may not intend anything greater than causing you discomfort, but that discomfort draws on the fact that other men do much worse."
03 3 / 2014
"Why? Why were most big things unladylike? Charlotte had once explained to her why. It was not that ladies were inferior to men; it was that they were different. Their mission was to inspire others to achievement rather than to achieve themselves. Indirectly, by means of tact and a spotless name, a lady could accomplish much"
02 3 / 2014
"The s/m concept of ‘vanilla’ sex is sex devoid of passion. They are saying that there can be no passion without unequal power. That feels very sad and lonely to me, and destructive. The linkage of passion to dominance/subordination is the prototype of the heterosexual image of male-female relationships, one which justifies pornography. Women are supposed to love being brutalized. This is also the prototypical justification of all relationships of oppression—that the subordinate one who is ‘different’ enjoys the inferior position."
27 2 / 2014
"There are people, who, when they become angry and offend others, demand first that nothing be held against them, and second, that they be pitied because they are prey to such violent attacks. Human arrogance can go that far."
26 2 / 2014
22 2 / 2014
19 2 / 2014
Doesn’t everyone know that once you stop being a proper woman (which an unabashed lesbian feminist definitely is not) and start insisting on being a person, men will stop loving you?
Yeah, that is the conventional wisdom but at this point I kind of think ‘meh’ to that. If I’m going to be loved, I want to be loved as a person.
Feminism literally is ‘the radical notion that women are people’ and exists in the first place because society at large doesn’t seem to agree. One of the most obvious symptoms of that sad fact is male identification in women ourselves (I don’t know how far it goes in genderqueer and non-binary experiences). There’s an awesome, very accessible article here, on the importance of woman identification instead, because male identification is basically just a fancy term for thinking that everything needs to be validated by men in order to be valid at all. As though women and how we feel about stuff didn’t count. As though we weren’t really people.
The threat that men will stop loving you is a powerful one in this kind of context, one where men give everything its value – especially because that everything includes ourselves.
But love and value aren’t the same. If you’re valued but can’t give value then it’s like you’re an object. Your value is in fact a price – ‘can be exchanged for’ kind of thing. You can’t love an object, something that can’t feel back – that’s called a fetish. Fuck being fetishised.
Which is obviously easier said than done. I won’t lie, whenever I’ve gone and lost myself some exchange value in the eyes of men who don’t actually love me – by, say, displaying sexual agency thus proving that I’m not an object – I’ve been tempted to compensate by turning on the submissive feminine charm next time I see them. But I strive to one day just say ‘and look at all the fucks I don’t give’ with an expansive gesture.
I do feel that I’m one step closer to achieving that aim by having made a conscious decision to pursue sexual and romantic relationships with women as opposed to with men."
18 2 / 2014
"I detest the masculine point of view. I am bored by his heroism, virtue, and honour. I think the best these men can do is not talk about themselves anymore."